미치겠다...

너에게서 멀어지는 순간.

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ᵅᵈᵈᶦᶜᵗᶤᵒᶰ중독 Segments:
Part One, Part Two, Part Two Collab, Part Three

중독 Part2 Collab.

PROFILE

EXITS

YOU SAY

FROM ME TO YOU

Wednesday, August 11, 2010 / 12:20 AM

5O%

Today, I told Reizo what was on my mind. Involving me and him. Him and me only. Should I use the correct grammar?

Him and I

I told him how I felt as lame and corny as that sounds. But maybe it was for the best. I felt like I was pestering him too much to try to talk to him and everything. I felt like a bother. So I decided to finally just tell him. I feel better than I got it off my chest. Although his answer wasn't all happy sunshine, I'm okay.

He said he still "likes" me, but doesn't know if things would work out between us. Explaining things like that. I'm ok with it. I did leave out the fact about the other girl. Maybe it's just a sneaky way of saying "There's someone else". But honestly, if he ended up with her, I would be happy. If she makes him smile, that's wonderful. She seems like a great girl. I've heard about her a lot. I don't want to be selfish. He deserves his happiness. Sure, if he ended up with her, I'd feel sad for a while. But I'd get over it. If we didn't talk for a while, I'd get over that too. I would still like to keep his friendship. Then again, truthfully, I can't see us being good longterm friends. Maybe I'm sounding harsh. The friendships that I'm most afraid to lose are Hiro and Yoshi.

For now, my main focus is to try to get back into good terms with Hiro again. So far, all is going well. Maybe today was a good day after all. He will still talk to me. But only if I start talking to him. I can accept that fact for a while, but maybe he'll go back to before, and talk to me first. I don't like chasing.

Yoshi will always be there for me, no matter what. And I'm lucky for that. No matter what decision I make about me and him. He will understand. He told me so. But he'll always be my best friend. He'll always take care of me and look out for me like he always did. I am grateful.

Besides all that "love" crap that I loathe with a passion, [ hypocrite ] , today was very productive. I decided to help around the house more than usual, and my parents seem to be getting a long better. Although my dad complained about my mom a little bit earlier when she wasn't home, all is well. There were no fights today. And I am completely happy for that. I think maybe my family is getting better. But I can't think that for too long. My mom will be leaving on her vacation soon that my dad doesn't approve of, and I know things will start up again. But no family is perfect. No family will ever be perfect. As much as I want mine to be, I know it wont happen. But I learn to live with what I have, and I don't want to lose that. I appreciate small things, I don't like big things. I don't care if I don't get any christmas gifts, or ever get greeted on my birthday, as long as my parents stay together, and as long as everyone else is happy, that's good enough for me.

Anyways, I cleaned, I made jello, I did laundry, I helped with other things. All is well. Tomorrow I'm off to a friends house that I haven't seen since school ended. I'm looking forward to it. Today/Tomorrow will be a better day.

I'll lift my head above the water, I'll breathe. I'll be happy.

I'll be 1 O O %.

photo credits: ~Z-duck via deviantart.com